Everyone Is Mine To Torment: King Joffrey And The Boy Of Lancaster

Joffrey Baratheon (Jack Gleeson) is one of the best and worst characters to ever be written, be it the books or the show.

Born to King Robert and Queen Cersei we the audience know Joffrey and his siblings Tommen and Myrcella to be Lannister “bastards”, born from incest between the Queen and her twin brother Ser Jaime Lannister. They’re not Baratheons at all (black-haired), as Ned Stark learns, much to his own detriment.

However, Joffrey’s historical counterpart could well be Prince Edward of Lancaster, son of (Mad King) Henry VI and Margaret D’Anjou (very much like Cersei). He was also Prince of Wales and Edward of Westminster. Born eight years after their wedding during one of Henry’s bouts with what we now call ‘mental illness’, whispers began to form that he wasn’t Henry’s son at all, but in fact the illegitimate child of her and the Duke of Somerset or Earl of Wiltshire, sleeping with one of her friends to conceive a child.

Robert was oblivious to Cersei and Jaime; and Jaime (also part of Robert’s Kingsguard) was naive to the fact that all the “heirs” to the throne were his children. Or more so, ignorant. He didn’t want to believe it. Every Baratheon has been ‘black of hair’ and suddenly there’s three that are blonde… something’s up. Robert doesn’t care because he has wine and his girls. And Henry never doubted Edward’s legitimacy, having him declared Prince of Wales. Margaret was mostly disliked as the Queen and the rumours would have been an easy way to cast doubt on her son’s claim as Henry’s health degraded. If Henry did know, why we declare his only child illegitimate?

“Cersei is a lying whore, she’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and probably Moon Boy for all I know.”

Tyrion to Jaime

When Joffrey’s about, you’re always looking over your shoulder. Does he have a crossbow ready kill you slowly with? Will he have you stripped and beaten for his own amusement? Will he have someone’s pet killed out of spite? From A Game of Thrones (Season 1) to his demise in a A Storm of Swords (Season 4), he is relentless. And when he was killed at his own wedding, he was simply replaced with another bastard, Ramsay Snow (Iwan Rheon).

“This boy, though only thirteen years of age, already talks of nothing but cutting off heads or making war, as if he had everything in his hands or was the god of battle or the peaceful occupant of that throne.” Ambassador of the Duchy of Milan (1467)

Joffrey was more than just talk. He thirsted for blood. He had people kill and maim for him but rarely did any himself. He had The Hound kill the butcher’s boy. He had Ser Ilyn Payne execute Ned Stark. He had Ros (Esmé Bianco) beat another prostitute with a club and then killed them both when he’d grown bored. Simultaneously, he runs away from battle. He goes after women, the weak and the defenceless. Which is why he ran away from the Blackwater and consistently went after Tyrion (Peter Dinklage).

Unlike Joffrey, Prince Edward devoted himself to the art of combat and weaponry when he was a man (at least he got that far). He seated himself on fierce and half-tamed horses motivated by his spurs. He often enjoyed assaulting the young companions attending him with weapons such as lances and swords. Joffrey liked crossbows, Edward was a bit more creative.

Joffrey was first engaged to Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner), eldest daughter to the disgraced and then executed Lord Eddard Stark. And sister to Rob Stark, even more “treasonous” for trying to gain justice for his family. Joffrey loved tormenting Sansa, only to get disgruntled when she’s saved by Tyrion (acting kind of like the Richard III). If Sansa is Anne Neville, Petyr Baelish was sort of like Earl of Warwick (The Kingmaker). So, Tyrion is Richard Plantagenet. But that’s for another story.

At seventeen, Edward married the fourteen year-old Anne Neville, the youngest daughter to Richard, Earl of Warwick — oh look, a spider in the garden. He’s always changing sides, going whichever the wind blows, very much like Baelish (Aiden Gillen). Really, he’s in allegiance to himself and only himself. Sansa married Joffrey, Anne married Edward. Richard, like many, used his children as pawns in one of the greatest games of chess ever played.

Edward was intoxicated with violence and that’s how he went out, fighting at the Battle of Tewkesbury (1471). His mother Margaret’s last stand to defeat King Edward IV (the Yorkist king). Prince Edward (Lancastrian) was only seventeen years old. This would have been during the battle, but more likely trying to flee. Accounts say he was executed by the turn cloak, the king’s brother, George Duke of Clarence.

History is full of people like Joffrey and Edward, entitled boys in proximity to power who treat people like things and talk a lot. And it often takes longer than we’d like for karma to arrive.

I mean, who names their sword Hearteater?